Malcom Bourek: Put your feelings on hold -- it's not right to date a married woman. Yes, sorry but "going through divorce" = "still married". Either find a nice, available woman to date, or else put your life on hold until after this woman's divorce. For now, be just friends with her. Doing this will clear up all the confusion between you.
Ninfa Aronica: Your best bet is to stay away from this woman until her divorce is finalized and she has had time to sort through her emotions. You must realize that she might not even get divorced. Stay away or you will very likely end up hurt.
Donte Hamme: Because you're married, and not dead. If you honestly think that after you get married you'll NEVER be attracted to another human being again, you're in for a surprise.Temptation will always exist. Whether or not one gives is is a reflection of strength of character and emotional maturity.
Benita Nancy: NO, thank God. I dealt with my own issues and wanted wh! omever I dated to have already dealt with theirs.
Rhett Kaines: after i got slapped with divorce papers, i dated a few. actually, faceless nameless many, not few. your question is bit vague.if you're the one doing the dating, don't. it makes things a lot worse, and you're going to feel more lonely than if you were alone. faceless nameless many isn't going to fill that void. it has to come within you. if you're dating someone going through the divorce, don't. it's like this.you're a cheeseburger to a boy that hasn't eaten in a year.when it's all over and done, he's gonna go with the Steak or Lobster, not cheeseburgers....Show more
Clemmie Burkleo: My guess is that she is on the rebound and doesn't know what she wants. My best advice to you is to go out, have a good time and don't wait to see what she wants to do. It is obvious that she is confused and the more you hang around, the better the chance that you will get hurt. Go on with you life and if! she ever resolves her issues and really wants to be with you,! she will come around.
Aron Ramu: He is human isn't he? It is normal to be attracted to the opposite sex. As long as it doesn't go further. Temptation usually only arises when there is problems in the marriage...The love should be enough(though not always) to stop them from acting on it though.
Horace Escue: i mean if you married the love of your life the one you want to spent forever with,how could a man ever be tempted by another?thanks
Frank Gazaway: I dated someone while I was going through a divorce. But the marriage was short, and the divorce was short and simple - no kids, no property to divide, no fighting. Me and the guy I started seeing are still together, very happily, and are planning on getting married next year.
Neely Youngblut: Update. our son is living with her parents. She left him there after she moved away. I offered her 5000 dollars to stay but she still left. Her parents won't let me pick him up because she's made me out to be su! ch a "bad guy" to them and I'm afraid to bring them into the courtroom because they are dignified established people and they would slaughter me. I'm also afraid to bring him up here while were living together because she screams and throws fits in front of him. But, yes, my son is my priority and I want him up here so bad, but I also know he needs consistency and I personally know the negative effects of having a crazy angry parent. So him not being here and her instability are more factors in my problem....Show more
Autumn Vacio: Ok, I was actually in her shoes once....Thing was, I barely knew who and what I was at the time. I knew I didn't want my husband and yet I was drawn to the promises we made and the fact that my daughter had feelings too. I didn't really know what I wanted and yet I wanted out... Confused? Yep that is how she feels too. She is attracted to you and you allow her to escape her situation but until she has figured out what she must do and who sh! e is, things will stay the same. In my situation, the guy backed off, I! only had my marriage to consider and when I decided the marriage was well and truly over, I left my husband and did so knowing whether I had someone to go to or I was on my own, I had to be free of the marriage. End of.And in the end I left and divorced for ME and my daughter and our future happiness and not because there was anyone else. I found ME again.By the way, I married the guy in the end that gave me space...and we have been married for 17 years now.Good Luck and Take Care xxx
Heidy Fujikake: you sound very nice for doing these things but i would stop paying and take the phone away. when she has nothing she will be forced to fend for herself and become independent again. just make sure your son is taken care of and thts it. she'll never leave if you keep paying!
Spencer Heidtbrink: The woman is obviously very confused right now and going through a turbulent time in her life. You would be best advised to back off and not even think about any sort of rel! ationship with this woman until her present situation is completely resolved.
Adrian Paraz: I wouldn't, too much drama. My 2nd husband did and it always left him feeling insecure for some reason. And now looking back I wonder if my urgency to get divorced wasn't because of the pressure I felt being with him. Who knows, if he hadn't of been in the picture and want to get married, I may have stayed married to my first. That certainly would have been a better option than marrying the second.
Ezekiel Kadner: And when I say update as stated above I was answering the person who asked about my 2 year old
Bryant Chaudhry: I have dated women who were going through a divorce. I made it clear my intentions and that it was not marriage or commitment.While I was separated (and clear that we would not be together again) I found a woman on line that was experiencing the same thing. We both knew what we wanted, but after a few months, I moved away to be near my children a! nd sought a new relationship. We were good together and after a couple ! years, we chatted and would have gotten together, but the distances were too far and I had no money to move back. I regretted loosing that one, but moved on to another relationship.Now, I am even out of the country living with a widow. One day, maybe marriage, but we are older now. We can wait a while....Show more
Efren Clankscales: She's trying to work on her marriage, while holding on to you at the same time. If she can get back with her husband, she'll dump you. If the divorce goes through, she'll still have you in her life. She's playing games and you need to let her go, at least until she knows where she's going. If she gets divorced and you're still interested, you can start seeing her again. For now, save yourself some heartaches and let her go.
Coralie Goldsberry: This is a really long story and I feel stupid asking, I just feel like I need a bunch of people to tell me if I'm right or wrong.Basically I met this girl 3 and a half years ago. We got to! gether really quick and she moved in after about a month I was 19 and she was 18. Things were rocky from the get go but we really liked each other and stayed together. After four months we both moved to the city, three hours away. We both had jobs, were self supporting and became engaged. Shortly after that she became pregnant. I was there but during the last trimester I was in jail 90 days. I was released before our son was born. For the first 8 months of him being born I had problems finding steady employment so she payed most of the bills, but I still gave her what I could. After our son turned one she started going to bars almost every night, left me at home with the baby, became violent (though we both had tempers), and she would ignore my calls and come home at five in the morning, and flip out if I said anything to her about it. Then she broke up with me. I moved to my moms and kept our son half the time and I was determined to make things right. I gave her all kinds! of money, bought her clothes, took care of my son on extra nights. She! would still party all she could and sometimes not come get our son when she was supposed to, and make me miss work. She would always tell me she needed time for herself and that if I kept doing well wed be back together. Well after about four months of being split up I found out that she had been dating a 30 year old waiter for two months and hiding it from me, and that he was living with her where I used to live. So I quit talking to her and giving her extra money and she moves back to our hometown to live with her parents and get her life straight (she's a bartender and a community college student). Over the course of three months of her living there, she received over 3000 dollars from me in clothes and cash. Then she left my son with her parents, dropped out of college and moved back to the city to live in the apartment with her "boyfriend" that she supposedly wasn't talking to anymore. So I quit talking to her completely and just send money to her parents out of kind! ness for having my son living there. After a while we get back in touch and she would cry to me on the phone everyday about how she's lost everything and her boyfriend treats her bad and she misses me.This is the part that has to do with the questionShe moved back in with me at my house (my own house) she basically packed up and drove from his place to mine and is staying with me until she can "get a job and get on her feet" I pay for everything she needs, food, gas, fun and I've paid money on the apartment that she had with him because of overages which was 550 and I still need to pay 300 more for her to not owe money. She doesn't clean at my house, shedoesnt like for me to be sexual to her or show pda, she says were not together. she bitches all day about not being able to find a job, or move our son back here, or money she owes that ill have to pay for and when I do pay for her **** she says that I didn't have to and I should just want to help her. She never admits she's! wrong, is ungrateful, and steals my car and doesn't come back for days! .She literally does nothing to help me, she won't even listen to my problems, she just sits around and bitches to her girlfriends on the phone of hers that I pay for about how she wants to leave. And she still talks to the waiter boyfriend and sometimes I think when she dissappears that's where she goes but if I say anything shell flip out and say I should trust her because we can never be together if I don't trust her.I love her and I wnt to get her life back on track, but I don't think this is worth it at all and I definately don't feel like I owe her anything. She has no place she can go if she leaves and no job and money, but I don't want to hold the things I do for her over her head. I'm just tired of doing so much for her and getting no credit, and treated badly, and used. Or maybe I do need to help her because she blames everything on me.So bottom line, am I a weakminded idiot for taking this? Should I just take my phone and quit paying for her **** and kick her out?! Because she acts like staying here is the worst thing ever anyways. Oh and by the way I don't pay child support or anything like that because she didn't qualify, everything I gave to her was out of kindness....Show more
Kiersten Clayburn: I started having a crush on this lady who is going through a divorce. She has one daughter. Off and on she says she wants to try to work on her marriage. So I back off and then she comes strong saying how I have sexy eyes and we even went on a date. Then I tell her I like her and would like to be her man and she gets mad. Why would someone lead you on and then get mad when you want to do something about it?She said she can't because of her current situation.. seems odd to me. One week she wants me, the next week she wants me to go away. What is this woman thinking?...Show more
Peter Lapoint: if yu know the principle to Err is human.every married man wants to enjoy another woman even though he found the love of his life.! sex become monotonous for him and wants some change or taste and hence ! he seek another woman for enjoyment.
Providencia Serpe: Given what you've told us, I'd recommend moving back to your parent's home, filing for custody of your son and seeking child support from this ... well, this young woman who mothered your child.I'd also document each/every dime you've spent on supporting this young woman (including copies of credit card bills, etc.), and any acts of... "flooziness" on her part. -IF- this goes to court (and it might not, she might just up & leave and that would leave you free & clear of her, at least for some time that you can use to settle into a life w/ your son), you'll need to a written journal, with detailed day-by-day entries on the stuff she pulls and how much you're laying out to fund her escapades. It won't work to show up in court with a "He-said, She-said" type testimony... you need credible documentation.This young woman is a liar, a cheat and a thief... she's narcissistic and she's a perpetual "victim"... nothing is h! er fault, all her "bad luck" is a function of others not going outta their way to help her, or her being the object of their dislike. ~~siiiiiiiigh~~You and your son deserve better than anything this gal has, or ever will have, to offer.Hope this helps, Â TX Griff...Show more
Eulah Hugill: yes but i didn't marry um after their divorce
Caryl Mclaen: omg that was long. though i wouldn't call you an idiot you fell in love with an idiot. get a lawyer and get custody of your son and kick the tramp out. she is just using you. she will live with anyone at the moment that will pay her bills and there you are paying things for her. so what she is the mother of your kid (at that i would get a dna test) she is unstable. kick her out, get your son and tell her to get her life together. the only money she needs if she has your son and you are buying him food and clothes....Show more
Rosalba Lingner: She's not thinking, she's feeling. Ending a marriage is a really sca! ry prospect and a very difficult decision. She probably really doesn't ! know what she wants. All she knows is you make her feel better about herself, when her world is crumbling. Perhaps you should just be her friend for a while until she works this out, rather than being "her man".
Florencio Dingle: She sounds like a sociopath. Look it up and see what you think. If she is, she will use you until you have nothing left to give.I've never heard of someone "not qualifying" for child support. Why are neither of you raising your child? That's inexcusable.
Lashawn Zabarkes: I'm leaning toward yes, but, where is the baby in all of this now?
Manie Labat: I wouldn't pursue her. The more involved you become the more baggage you will be carrying, because she is already full of bags, she won't be able to help you with yours. When someone becomes involved with a person who is struggling with getting out of a marriage, not only do they end up dealing with the feelings of the person they fell for but the child, the ex husband, the families! and friends. It can be and most times is a crazy mess. Take it from me, I married someone who has these bags and it has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Bell Pasco: My husband dated me while I was sepetated, and while I was divorceing. It was okay. I was 100% that it was over and my ex husband understood that (he cheated MANY times and I caught him kissing a guy.....don't ask) It was a hard road to walk down, but we have been married 6 years now and for the most part things are great. just normal issues that have nothing to do with my past.
Neely Youngblut: Menstrual cycles of hers ..this is why she seems incoherent in her replies
Sook Hershkowitz: Ughh... why would you marry them? They're obviously no good at marriage.
Ardell Luy: She needs to be taking care of your son and not her own problems. You need to be very clear with her that the baby is the reason you are together and you need to be civilized, but not too nice to her.! If she is not contributing to the house hold you need to have a serio! us talk with her and let her know that she needs to be doing something. I make all the money for my household, but my hubby takes care of the kid and dose all the household chores while I am at work. If you want to throw her out to need to make sure you have full custody of the child, because she has no job the court will lean toward giving it to you. Stop giving her stuff just give her the essentials food, shelter. No clothes, or anything. Spend your money on the baby, spoil it like there is no tomorrow. She will come to realize that you are the best she has had, and that if she is not with you she will not get all the extra comforts the baby will....Show more
Marna Liddie: I haven't and probably won't. That never a good way to start a new relationship.
Marvella Benward: I don't know if I'd use the term tempted, but yes, men, women married or not notice another attractive person. They got married not buried.
Annabell Bevier: no....... that is adul! tery.....wait until they are free to date before you go there.
Nia Monopoli: Bo I have been through the exactly same situation with a few minor differences. But the point is, you need to tell her to go **** herself and only worry about your kid. It will take her a while but eventually she will realize she ****** up. Oh yea when she trys to come to you again don't do it at all man.
Donte Hamme: we all have baggage and to say or think we don't is ridiculous thats what makes us who we are. now how we deal with that baggage is very important. this woman is in a stressful emotional situation. best advise be a friend and nothing more. you have to be the strong one right now and let her ( if you wish ) lean on you a little just to talk and don't take anything as a sign or signal...when and if she is ever ready she will let you know! if not you have prob made a lifetime friend?
Lindsey Zanardi: Because men are human and the urge to procreate never goes away just ! because you get married. Same goes for women, just because you get marr! ied doesn't mean you stop noticing other people.
Gregg Hagge: Its hard - you don't know if they are with you because of rebound. EVentually they pick themselves up and are ready to move on and there you are - broken hearted. I suggest you wait until the divorce is over and "well over" to make sure he/she is not just with you because they are on a rebound. Divorce is very hard and people that are going through it tend to use people as a support pole so as not to fall apart and it is unfair. I waited 5 yrs (too long) partly because I wanted to be sure I was not on a rebound and it would have been unfair to the other party. Unfortunately, five years later I met a man and fell madly in love and he was going through a divorce. Such is life!!! Good luck!...Show more
Wilfredo Muldoon: No and I never would.The person is still married until the judge says it's over.I don't want her husband shooting at me! WAIT,WAIT I forgot I dated a Lady off Yahoo Answers that was still! married but she hadn't seen her husband in like 20 years.Sorry I didn't forget her just that she was married!
Nell Dipiero: YOUR CHILD'S NEEDS COME FIRST, PERIOD. You are not a weak minded fool, but you seem to be attracted to what is wrong with her, and it sounds like there is a whole book to be written on that one. In my opinion, you need to kick her out (don't worry, she will land on her feet, as it sounds like she can always find some sucker to look after her, sorry for saying that, it has to stop being you though), file for custody of your child, and start taking full responsibility as a parent, single or otherwise. Any other course of action will mess your child's mind up, and it will become a carbon copy of the two of you, dysfunctional and angry, mostly at the two of you. I have trouble understanding why people have children, but put all their petty problems ahead of the child's needs. This behavior you must stop, and it sounds to me that you are the responsi! ble one. Never mind that you would like to have a life, or like her wan! ts to party, she has given up the right to be a parent by her behavior. The other choice would be for the child to be raised by it's Grandparents, but do you have any idea what kind of strain you are putting on them? Not fair, my friend, it's time to step up to the plate, become the parent it sounds like you really are, and immerse yourself in the life of your child, and don't look back. Good Luck brother!!!!...Show more
Sonya Volcko: Really loving your spouse means you deny yourself any temptations. You don't let yourself get into any situation that you can't handle. It is really easy. If I had acted on every chance to pick up a woman over the last 35 years I would be a Don Juan. You make yourself ignore these flirtations. I understand that my wife will look at another man. I don't propose to even know what she thinks and I really don't care. I know at the end of the day when it is time go to bed she will be beside me. I mightcheck out another woman but it is just lo! oking. I had a spat of jealousy one time before we got married. We were just dating but I had already decided I was going to marry my wife. After we worked our way through that evening and talked all night I had proposed and she accepted. After that evening I knew that I would never have to worry about her fidelity or mine. So in short, NO if you truly love the person you are married to you don't suffer temptation....Show more
Stanton Degregorio: I think that a person goes through ALOT of weird emotions when going through a "divorce", if that is in fact true. She is confused and she doesn't know what or HOW to do anything. Divorce is a state of total confusion especially with a child. Back off and tell her that you want to wait until she KNOWS what she wants. Thats game playing. Best of luck.
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